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#AskAbby: How are you preparing Willow for twin boys?

So many people have been asking how Willow feels about two new babies joining the family! We know this is going to be a HUGE transition for her since she has been by herself for 4 years but we’re determined to making the change as easy and exciting as possible for everyone. Here is how I am helping Willow prepare!

 

  1. My dad bought me a book called Siblings Without Rivalry and it’s given me very valuable insight on what Willow may be thinking now and could feel after the twins arrive. My Dad gave me a great analogy, he said, “compare a new sibling to what it would feel like as a wife for your husband to come home with a younger and better wife that was now joining the family”… certainly not ideal for any wife!!! I can only imagine the jealousy that would arise from a situation like that (however far fetched it would be). But that analogy really put how Willow will be feeling into perspective.

 

  1. Another fun practice I’ve been trying with Willow is giving her twin dolls to play with. We’ve been taking care of the baby dolls together so she learns to take ownership of her role as a big sister. I want her to be happy and eager to help take care of her new baby brothers. We’re hoping having the two dolls around will help her get used to the idea that the family is growing, and that the babies will need some attention.

 

  1. We’re trying to help foster the relationship she’ll have with the boys and to have her involved in as much as we can. When we get ultrasounds we tell her that the twins are waving “Hi” to her and that they are SO excited to meet their big sister. She’s also helping to pick out  things for the nursery and other new baby things we need. She is going to be a baby expert!

 

  1. I reminded Willow that she is going to be the princess of the castle since both babies are going to be boys (they of course will be the princes…haha). In doing this I wanted to remind her that even though new babies are coming she is still our little girl! I plan on being very aware of maintaining mommy and daughter time as well.  I know having the two newborns will be tough, but I want to make sure I continue to make the extra effort to do activities with Willow, like putting her to bed myself, etc.

 

I would would love to hear from you all on what you found to be helpful when introducing a new baby (or babies) to the family! We have a few more ideas that AJ and I are considering implementing like sending Willow gifts from the twins, etc. But we’re stilling learning and researching!

6 replies
  1. Annette
    Annette says:

    You are doing a great job trying to prepare her. Our boys are 4 years a part. We did very similar things. Two things my Mom told me…1) Remember to forgive yourself for not being able to do it all….so on the nights that the babies need Mom at the same time Willow is heading off to bed its OK. 2)Encourage your oldest to read to the baby (babies in your case) as they are learning to read.
    For my boys it created a bond I didn’t expect…at 15 & 11 they still lay on the floor, bed or couch and read together.

    Reply
  2. Katie Short
    Katie Short says:

    Willow will be a great big sister!!! One of the things we did was when the big brother came to visit there was a present for them from the new baby!!! The boys loved it. Also like you said included them in baby decisions, decoration, and names for the baby.

    Reply

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